Fear and self loathing in Black creek- Comox Valley Newborn Photograher- Bellaphoto

Getting real time.

I needed to write this blog post for me.
Since moving to my new AMAZING new house in my AMAZING new town...
I haven't felt that AMAZING about my business.

It's such as weird change going from a town you have lived in your whole life, knowing everyone, having a full client list... to a town where you know no one.

This is where pity party sets in.

There are so many kick ass photographers here.. like so many.
Karen Mckinnon, Bluetree Photographhy, Charlene Harris, Love Story Photographic New Leaf Photography Just to name a few! (these lovely ladies have also been so incredibly amazing and welcoming to me. There is a total vibe of community over competition.
Why would anyone book me, when there are all these talented people already here?

I keep getting people asking "are you so busy with work??!" and my response is always the same "oh I haven't even painted my studio yet"....

Instead I... went for coffee, chopped wood, baked muffins, played with the puppy..
Anything instead of painting the studio.

And why is that?
Fear of failure.
If my studio isn't done, I can't shoot clients, therefore it doesn't matter if no one knows me, or likes me, because hey, I can't take clients anyway.

I could feel this fear rising. I could feel it starting to take over.
I could either succumb to the dread.

or so something about it.

I bought paint.
and it sat there....

Then I decided to start on a wall..
The more I painted the more empowered I felt.
It's amazing the roadblocks your mind puts up, and how they will just fall away when you start working on it.

I have a newborn booked! Due Feb.22.

I came here to drink coffee and kick ass.. and I am all out of coffee.

-Ali